Therapy dog Daphne supports grieving moms

A group to support mothers in the Hardin County area who have lost a child either during pregnancy or shortly after birth has been expanding, and recently found another outlet for the grieving parents.

Daphne, a 10-year-old Chihuahua, has become the group's adopted therapy dog. She spends several hours on the third Friday of every month at Hardin Memorial Hospital's board room comforting the women.

When most people think of a therapy dog, the image of a Labrador or golden retriever comes to mind. But Daphne's owner, Melanie Michael, ensures she's got a whole lot of heart in that little, shaky body.

HMH Chaplain Jessica Jasper started the pregnancy and infant loss support group early this year in an effort to bring together mothers who had suffered an intense loss and had been unable to talk through their grief because of a societal taboo.

Jasper said the group has stayed with a core group of about seven women who attend each month, but there are more involved in a Facebook group for constant support, and even more women who still are readying themselves to talk about their loss.

"It's just been very intense because it's a very heavy subject," Jasper said. "Daphne's an icebreaker. She can just go up to people and ... it makes it not as scary and intimidating."

Michael, who is a member of the group, trained Daphne during a Fort Knox therapy dog class years ago and had never thought to use her in that capacity until recently.

She planned to use Daphne in the Wounded Warriors program, but was disbanded before she had a chance to get involved.

The idea to bring Daphne to the support group came during a meeting where one mother, who had been to the animal shelter to pet dogs as her way of coping with grief, said during a meeting, "I wish I had a dog, and it would be easier to talk."

Daphne, being so small, jumps from lap to lap and allows nervous group members to pet her and take their mind off sharing their story during the sessions.

"It's weird when you're actually in the meeting because she's very sensitive and if she sees someone getting emotionally distressed, she'll stop, get down and she'll go to that person and try to get into their lap," Michael said. "They pick her up and they're able to communicate better because they're not so focused on that lump in their throat, and she releases some of that anxiety."

The mothers talk about the different stages of their grief during the sessions, they craft trinkets and other items to honor and remember the children they've lost, and they support each other in the different stages.

Whether it's some difficult moments to expect going back to work after the loss, how you'll likely react when seeing a pregnant woman for the first time, or seeing a child who's about the age your child would have been, the members each have their own coping mechanisms and ways to help each other.

"It's growing into a community, slowly but surely," Michael said.

October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, so the mothers are planning to hold a remembrance event at their Oct. 14 meeting to honor the babies they lost.

The women plan a candlelight ceremony and a balloon release, and of course, Daphne will be running around at their feet supporting them.

Emma Kennedy can be reached at 270-505-1746 or ekennedy@thenewsenterprise.com.